I've been a compulsive following of American Presidential politics for twenty years now. I shudder to think of the hours I've spent refreshing the same few pages, reading re-hashed opinion pieces and following polling averages. Bush's wins were a tragedy, Obama's win in 2008 was one of my highlights of living in America. Trump's win in 2016 was beyond tragedy. At first it was merely disbelief, that a woman I admired so much lost to such a chump, but seeing friends comment on Facebook about "both sides" just killed me. I quit Facebook, Twitter, watching all news sites and following any politics. I just couldn't, and it took years to permit myself to care enough to engage again.
The big difference in 2020 is that there are no false illusions. We know exactly who Trump is. He has paraded it front of us for four years, without even the pretence that Republicans of old used as a veil. We all have our own breaking points, for me it was Trump ordering kids to be torn from their families and kept in cages. Despite being told by the department of immigration that they did not have the facilities to house children, Trump insisted on stealing children and keeping them in cages. 4368 children were torn from their parents. Children as young as eight months old were put in cages with no parental supervision, being looked after by the older children and fed instant noodles. Despite being shut down by a Federal judge after only three months, with orders to return the children, two years later and 545 children are still lost, with no records of what happened to their parents. At least seven children, as young as 2 years of age, died in those cages. Lying in a pool of their own vomit, dying on a concrete slab from preventable illnesses. Countless others were sexually, physically or mentally abused, and many of those returned to their parents still wake up at night screaming their parents' names. I think of those children, weeping for their daddy, and my heart breaks. I think of smug Republicans, enabling this evil, and my heart hardens against forgiveness.
Every poll tells me Biden will win big. America will once again be governed by a decent man. I could attribute 2016 down to a set of unique factors - the anti-democratic voting rules of the US, Republican voter suppression, the out-dated electoral college, misogyny effectively harnessed against Hillary Clinton. It is all true. And yet. Trump "won" 2016 on 46%. Best estimates are that Trump will lose 2020 on 43%. With all of that evil, only 3% of people changed their minds (if that, changing demographics probably account for most of the shift). Trump has literally mishandled a pandemic, killing >200,000 Americans. More than every war since WWII combined. Largest economic collapse since the Great Depression. More scandals and indictments then every American President put together. And 43% of Americans will still vote for him. Trump will almost certainly win a majority of white voters. Another 10% of America probably want Trump's policies, but hidden behind the thin veneer of plausible deniability that a Pence or Bush can provide.
We know who Trump is. We know that he screwed up the economy, he screwed up the pandemic, that everything he touches turns to mud. This turned off maybe a couple of percent of voters. For everyone else, the Republican base, they support him because of his evil. Because of his racism. Because he tortured children and mocks the poor. This is a feature not a bug for the average Republican voter. That is why I'm depressed about the 2020 election. Yes, decency will win the day, but it is horrifying that we have to fall to such depths before even a small fraction of voters will recoil in horror. I wrote something similar 12 years ago. We live in a world where a solid 40% of people would joyfully butcher the majority. It its dystopian and cruel; actual civilisation teetering on the brink. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive Republican voters for the cries of those stolen children. I know I will never be able to forgive them for trying to destroy the promise of a future world that my children will inherit.